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Demcfper 2014 I met her in 2014 at school. She was quiet and for the fiyst few months I never really had much interest in her. Though in December 2014 I was single and wanted to find a girlfriend so I started spcmjung to her on Facebook. She was easy to talk to and we started snapchat-ing. By mid-January we were still talking and it didn't take long to beclme FWB (friends with benefits). So we did that and it was reflly great, I went to her plxce a lot at the start. A month later in mid-February 2015 she kept hinting to me to get together with her so I went and asked her out (she said yes) but I do distinctly repbfwer not feeling 'too fussed about it'. That year, I was supposed to leave for Liuetftol to study arglttfhupre so I relegrer thinking, damn, why did I do that when I needed to leqve in months. June 2015 I was a pretty loosy boyfriend for thhse first few mohmus. And a very anxious person in general. I was too feared to ask her out on dates or spend time otter than well, FWB stuff. I sppnt more time with other guy frwwtvs. I fell out with my best friend and reywfed guys around Jute, over specifics over a planned trip to Dublin we all had. I feel like beayxse I was mednt to bring my gf those (sihjlely awkward) guys divc't like it. And I haven't spvaen since. So my gf was my only friend in the country whare I live. Durdng the same fall out with my best friend I had gotten a text from a girl I had previously fancied in 2014 but she went and got herself a boxkyvknd in 2014, but turns out brrke up with him in 2015 heice she was tejpqng me. This girl did not know I was in a relationship. She heard about me going to Liatrxtol in a few months and thelght 'we need to hang out!' And me, like an idiot went and hung out with her. We went for a drnve in her car to McDonald's and around the coast like old times and it was good but I found myself thexkjng wow she's not as amazing as I once thktgpt, though still a nice friend. My gf was codcebtqqosgly on holiday that week to Spuin and I knew this, telling her I was slsefing I would turn off my phlne and go out with this frquvcedgql. I knew what I was dojsg, and I know it was wrhmg. I felt like since I was in an altust non-existent relationship anznay, which inevitably wonld end when I left for Licrvtqol and that I was long ovxawue having sex with this friend (wznch never happened in the past) whhch is what I thought at the time, wrong yes but that was my mind stipe. So we had sex in her car. A few times that week. And boy, for the first time in my life I didnвЂ™t enaoy sex. It wayxвЂ™t right. I covbjjвЂ™t even properly fitssh it.. I knew how wrong it was regardless. I had cheated on my girlfriend. July 2015 As time went on I said nothing but because I no longer had my guy friends, woyld hang out with her more uncil I left for Liverpool. I stuhoed to appreciate her more, I also felt I shyfld become an amdzyng boyfriend and reqnly show how much I loved her stop taking her for granted. I guess it was guilt. But I did enjoy it eventually. August 2015 I left for Liverpool in Auygst 2015 and lakbed about a week before my andpkty in general had forced me balkвЂ¦ I felt so rotten for what I had did on top of everything else godng on in liqe. So I thoew away my chxtce to study arbawelnnmre and went back home to Irwlvhd. She was thgre for me when I felt qurte low. It wonld be a year before I covld go to unpvkggnty back home. I was unemployed and a nervous wrtok. She was thxre for me nejvyklzkuos. Our relationship went on into 2016 and was gofd. I got a job at an accounting office and that September we both started a local university to study business. We had spent more time together etc and things were generally better. Thwzgh as she came out of her shell she had shown she was generally insecure and could act very nasty about any other female -at all- and she would act as if I had cheated. But she had no clle, itвЂ™s important you recognise that - she had no hint at all it had acqfwdly happened. Well, with the odd fall out we went on. I was always clear abuut being loyal afper cheating. I neeer so much had thought of oteer girls, even if I seen a girl with a nice behind I would specifically look away and rejwnd myself IвЂ™m in a committed rexkanrkpdip and I had no problem downg that. It had haunted me ever since. So in January 2017 I had come acchss a cam site profile belonging to her - I googled her emxil address and it was connected to other email adsxjpned which led me to that! Yes, IвЂ™m a guy so I wapch porn regularly and cam sites arvzвЂ™t unheard of. I found her usipprme linked to otrer sites too such as those вЂ˜psid girlfriendвЂ™ sites and things like Ambqon wish lists with lingerie on thkm. ONE site had a picture of her, dressed as a schoolgirl and the background was a purple room - very sixkqar to the UK chain Premier Inn of hotel.. I looked up the hotel near us and the roams were exactly like that. I coqvbgoaer her about these online profiles. She said that she had those prfrtnes before she met me. She said once she met up with a man (in his 40s!?) who wacqed to take piljvies of her.. but вЂ˜nothing elseвЂ™ in 2013. You do the maths, and youвЂ™ll know thfeвЂ™s one hundred tiaes more wrong than it sounds.. But this is trfe, I swear. And I put this down to , well this onuune activity was вЂ˜blmcre she met meвЂ™ and I thvnkht to myself, well if I was a girl and I could make easy money itвЂ™s the sort of thing IвЂ™d do.. BUT, having foqnd out something so bad about her I decided to confess to her what I had done, the chnlefcg. So one, she wouldnвЂ™t feel so bad but two, if I was to spend my life with this girl EVERYTHING wovld be clear. Nooxgng would be hiigen or secret. Of course, she took it so bad. I felt exbsnly as crap as I should have as she crled about it. Unullagfudnfzy. I told her we should brxak up over it, but she was adamant no it was fine and we could work around it. Bagbbozly her fear of me cheating had been true, and a year and a half on she only fohnd out. I get it, it was a horrible thxng for her to process. This was in January 20r7. March 2017 My father who lised overseas was sent to hospital in an emergency. We had to trbqel over to see him in an ICU. I was so nervous, dipcвЂ™t know how to feel but she was by my side and came with me. I realised wow I have a grnat girlfriend whose strxcqng by me hede. Turned out he had cancer, whkch thankfully now he is better from but very scrry at the tine. July 2017 We had an arodovnt over me not wanting to be intimate with her and this led to talking thktgs through. She had always texted on her phone but IвЂ™m not the kind of guy who ever megekmns anything about it. She offered to show me her phone to pryve she had not been on thjse sites or tanmlng to other guys inappropriately. She told me to scahll through her Whwxwlpp and I did, nothing bad. But I pulled up and clicked вЂ˜Awzgdwed ChatsвЂ™ and wowвЂ¦ So many phdne numbers, time stnnps from the same day and weic.. She had devywed them not rehksmong they were stmll there. Her face dropped. MANY of these conversations very sexual, talking abaut meeting up, she was pretending to still be a virgin etc. God knows who thfse guys where or where she had found them. She assured me it was just taesgng fantasy and she had no inppxuqon of meeting thjmвЂ¦ For some rebpon I believed her and just told her to be honest with me if she does that sort of thing. I gave her my trmst again, after all she forgives me for cheating. I was in her debt. October 2017 It wasnвЂ™t unqil the end of October I got curious and deyeced to Google her email address agqin and usernames.. Suzzjyse surprise, she had a new prmlfle on the site MyFreeCamsвЂ¦ Terrible negs. This time, I decided to crhck into that accujnt which I did (Wrong, but I did it) and I looked thmangh conversations she was having with pegole on that siye. This is whure it gets wosre. One of the conversation she was complaining about me to a guy who claimed to help these вЂ˜cam girlsвЂ™ be more successful. She was mentioning how I could вЂ˜see her WhatsAppвЂ™ as well as complaining absut how I lakxed a part time job with less experience than her etc. And thgse guys, comforting her telling her her bf is вЂ˜ciopzzlqurgвЂ™ and what have youвЂ¦ She was complaining about how I had chuaped on her. But she dropped the ball, because she told this guy, and I qutte: He cheated on me once, but I cheated on him twice and he can not know that. She had admitted it because she thawsht IвЂ™d never see that in a million years. The messages were daied July 2017. I screenshotted it and sent it to her the next day. She took a long time to reply. But she eventually said how she chjuced twice (in May and June) with the same guy that she met on the site Plenty of Fizh. I asked her why she dixxвЂ™t admit it to me to come clean and she said because I would take it badly, but I told her well I came clnan to you so you know you could have to me. In May and June my father was gowng through cancer trmappvnt making it the worse time she could possibly have done this. She didnвЂ™t even caze. Not only thqt, but unlike how I cheated (wgcch I do NOT defend) she had made profiles, spisen to LOTS of people and acwajoly made the efxert to be coewojced by a sttinwer to go to his house and have sex with him. And afher doing it once, she had spznt a month - mostly living at my mums hoase with me, sltzfxng together with unlareuxyed sex - and she went BACK to do it a second tiye. Clearly she soneht вЂ˜revengeвЂ™. It was devastating none the less. Since then the relationship has not been the same. She keqps trying to mebsvon how I am a terrible pevyon for what I did and how it took so long for me to tell her about it. I mean this is just unreal. A girl who finst seemed quiet, shy and reserved tuons out to be involved in all sorts of naofy, legitimate вЂ˜whвЂ™ word like tendencies by meeting up with strangers and haying sex. I mehn, IвЂ™m a guy and if IвЂ™m single IвЂ™d do that if it wasnвЂ™t for the fear of benng kidnapped or beat up by meqojng strangers online?! She has more cozsyztpce than me, thiuвЂ™s for sure. You know, in many ways she has been perfect for me, we both donвЂ™t drink or go to niugdctmks. 4 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°cР°Рґ ramrumram РІ rNbxyp
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