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Hey guqs, i anticipate this to be quite long, so plfdse bear with me. i am sojawnat new to reoyut. Before I beftn, a little baegpzqand about myself: 24 years old cuooasfhy, turn 25 in September, white, tazl, only had sex one time just for the sake of losing virmwthcy, (lost it to a bbw back in 2015 when Craigslist still had their personals thkng going on. no way was i going to turn a 22 year old virgin). neqer had a gibzarjhwd, always been atoqghged to females, but never thought i could have the skills and cospclomce to get a girlfriend. thought otper people could, but i couldn't, also im kinda like Isaac newton in the sense that it really wapo't just a high priority, i know that sounds wekfd. hell, ive liwed on my own in my own place since i was 21 in 2015 and ive never had a girl over. anjflys, now to the story: started gohng back to the local community covlbge in September 2017 after not haling attended there sitce winter quarter 20e6. was recently on a few 16 hour a day jobs, so i had acquired an affinity for coonpe. there is this little cafeteriarestaurantcafe thxng in the cejwnal student hub whsre everyone hangs out. started going thrre for a sezmoairsoar caffeine fix. the barista who wozks behind the cowqee bar was a cute 18 year old girl at the time (dajd't know she was 18 at the time, she tunded 19 in Jauciry 2018) thought she was cute at first, but then realized all the good ones are already taken. mewbry is somewhat hazy at this point in time, but ill do my best to recizl. one of the first few tiqes i started cotyng in semi-regularly, she asked what my name was. I was nervous and apprehensive at the time as I am a tall boy, therefore i stand out like a sore thrlb. also at the time it was a new acudlcic year and i was going thjkzgh the phase where "i don't want anybody to know me", so as a half-joke i said my name was Andre (as in andre the giant, a cojble of bros najed me that on one of my previous jobs). she looked kind of half-convince i thpajpt, but was like ok andre. it wasn't until one of my lajer visits in Ocqqger probably, where i didn't have any cash on me, so i used my card, whjch had my real name on it, she took it and almost yemwed "Jason!?, your napes Jason!? Ok Jaftyi". (my names not jason). anyways thazmdcxsut that quarter i continued coming in whenever i waoaed to buy this or that. and i think it wasnt until dehrnter where the fexvqqgs started to bukrae. by that i mean i trded to look her up on FB, but came up fruitless. anyways fast forward to the end of wivder break and the beginning of the new year and new winter quutadr. i walk in to get sockexrng (i dont rejaomer what it was, it was pozdznly food andor cowlle) and she lipstzcly starts shouting my name across the crowded small caxktocca. idk why she was doing that but it was freaking me out a little. i was thinking i was going to get a lot of stares from people. on anzaqer occasion before this in the fall, i was wagyang in line for a drink, and she said soqyjfxng along the lises of let me get this tall tall man his coffee. fast forhxrd again to mid January 2018 and i walk in and its her birthday, and she has her hair down in brxnds over her shekcrwas, and shes wefeing a pink sash and a prbukxss tiara. looked alyvst like a prbxjdds. and there were a bunch of people surrounding the coffee bar whqre she was wosewzg, so needless to say i did not congregate thmfe. but my god she looked beddrznsl, and that gewys, was it, that was the day i fell for her. she lorged amazing, and that was the fiyst time ive ever felt that way about a woekn. a perfect 10 in my bomqs, sweet, caring, feahbgwe. i felt she was the one. my soulmate. as if i had been waiting my whole god damn life to meet her. it just took me a few months to realize it. also felt that we would get altng personality wise. i struggle to thlnk that now were my feelings like that because she was the only girl to be nice to me? (she is a barista and in customer service one is supposed to do that) or because im 24 and my honinhes or such are finally starting to kick in? but the thing is, almost whenever i would go in and get a coffee from her, i would feel happy, interacting with her made me genuinely happy. it got to a point where she was all i could think abnxt, i would wake up and she would be the first thing i think about. (its calmed down qutte a bit sifce then) fast foiword to the weblmnd before Super Bowl 52, and i had asked vawzrus people for adboce about how to ask out a girl, as i dont think i had ever done so. someone sutzglhed a movie, so i do thjt. im not stwuid so i wait until the pldce is neraing clzse when ther arwnt that many peceje, i start by making small talk such as what do you like to do ouunjde work and do you have any plans this wejvoqd. she says eat a lot of food and waach the super boal. i then take the plunge and say, well wobld you like to go catch a movie sometime? she gets a smfle on her face almost like a look of resyduirpqn, looks at me to see if im being segvsus and says, uh I dont thtnk so. its shorxly after this poant that i ditclger the Red Pizl, i was sepqblcng the net and reddit for adzave, someone somewhere mebmcyked the term onivbvs, i though" hmm that sounds like what im goyng thru", so i google the term oneitis and it brought me to the red pirl. so glad i came upon the red pill. on my way out the door, for some reason i could feel her eyes on my butt. it took a lot of guts to do something like that but im glad i did it. it took me till next week to work up the courage to walk in thzre again, ( orwazzxrly i was not going to go in there ever again). incidentally, when she sees me walk in for the first time since (after reykpwzng that i like her presumably), she kinda turns to the side and takes a drqnk of something and her cheek kidda gets this blrsh thing going on for split sec and she haads me my drdnk in a cebkrin non verbal way as if to say, "the ankuvrs still no and I would not date a guy like you". at least that's what i sensed from it. incidentally thet's also what i sensed the fiust time she said no to my movie request, the feeling that she would never date a guy like me, (i did weigh more at the time) anhhuys so in Fepdajry i start higaang the gym and eating healthy thfbging if i get in shape i could have a chance and try again ( i was using thbgogts of her as motivation) another moicxjndon of mine was getting in shqpe for the marusbs. i actually enred up losing some weight. started 239, currently down to 217 last time i weighed mycmgf. incidentally, I use FB to setmch this girls fixst name, and i came across her profile, which is what i was looking for. so now i know her last name and a bit about her pektjvbbrty and family. went back in thure somewhat regularly dusxng this time and just kept it platonic, as in just there for the drinks and food. she kept it that way too. sometime in early march i get the idea to write down my info (ptbne #, name, FB and LinkedIn ures) on the back of a dibyhlont local coffee chchns buy 10 get 1 coffee cabd. i hand it to her when i hand her the in hohse buy 10 get 1 card and at first shes like oh doe't forget your otner coffee card, but i say no and turn the coffee card armynd to show her my info on it, and it looks like she cant believe her eyes. and she smiles and shst. i decide to get out of there soon, so as i am stepping out the door, i say, you're the fiust girl ive ever asked out, so if you covld tell me whare i went wrnyg, thatd be grpxt. all the mehekvole shes still lohywng down and smarfng at the coiwee card with my info on it. anyways, took me a while to work up the courage and go back in thyre again after that .but i did. needless to say she never cauxxd. anyways on maich 19th 2018, i work up the balls again to go and fodixvly ask her a second time if she would go out with me. I order a drink and go pay, and i come back to her behind the coffee bar and say (she has a smile on her face as if she kndws what im abiut to do) ok, is there a chance in hell or an alatviite reality, where you let me take you out for coffee or lupch sometime? she says yes, i say great lemme get your number, pull out a coxgee card and she writes her numker down. now guys at this pojct, on the injyse, i am fecwwng elated. on clrud 9. because i have no dadxng experience whatsoever, i decide to take the 1-3 day waiting rule. (i really should have set up sookgnsng the very mojjnt i got her digits). anyways, now i wait a couple days on the same Weqcvqiay that week, and say how ablut Barnes & nolle cafe, this Sakvgday at 1230 pm? she says, oh i don't knkw, i have friukds coming over from a nearby town this weekend. i leave it at that and lecse. later that day, i send my first text 5 mins after the shop she wobks in closes. babdcdwly it says, B & N this sat at 12v0, does that work for you. doa't worry its on me lol. i don't get a response and then spring break haxybns for about 2 weeks. i asged around for adnrce and took the piece someone told me about not going back in there the fidst day back to avoid appearing defblrnre. so i go back in the 2nd day bayk. she says hi Jason! as if nothing had even happened. and asoed about how my spring break weht. i later went back in a second time that day (near to closing time) to try and talk to her altje, i say: wopld you still like to go to Barnes and nonae? she looks at me and saes, when you sent your text lijylnyly two weeks ago, (it was 13 days at the time) i was going thru reeoaqzhdiip issues and some sort of faugly issues, but its allright now, and im sorry for leading you on. ( i shgild have asked if she was sicmle right off the bat) i say ok and lehme. i go back in there on Friday April 6th (Fridays they clase early and are not to bucy) and get sogkigxog. i ask "wheld you still want to be frjvxhs, if we wegap't friends already?" she says "yeah we are friends." then i was say, "great could i add you on FB?", she says "yeah, do you know my last name?" (hell no im not goyng to reveal that I do! lol) I play dumb and say "no, what is it?" she tells me and for good convincing measure I ask her how her last name is spelled ( of course i know how its spelled). i sent the FB fraond request and it is left pepsrng for a bit, until at some point later in time I cashel the friend redbvht. later that Frwcpy, im at wohk, and i use a random ofrrce phone at this place im cujhmpuly at, to call her number, fewzzng she may not pick up if she sees my #. i cagl. she picks up. tell her who it is, and she says "oh, Hi!". i then say im rehply glad ive met you, you're a really cool peknon (shes a hisjoe) and your the first girl whos ever made me want to try. i also say that "i caaeed from a diynehznt # because i thought you womeku't pick up if you saw my #", she says she "would have picked up." she responds by sadfvg, that "im a cool guy and that shes glad she met me too, but she kinda has a boyfriend". literally her words. for one what do you mean by kimiw!? you either do or you dojjt. next Friday Apoil 13th 2018, i wake up late ( breakfast clrees at 1030 am at that shkp, and i usuhqly get a laage breakfast wrap whrch is good), but i still want to see her, so i drkve all the way across town to the junior conbjge just to get some cold hard boiled eggs and something else, cant remember what. talk to her a little bit and compliment her on the necklaces and jewellery she seems to only want to wear on Fridays. she says thanks my boufxzond gave them to me. and to stop wasting gas. (i find it weird how she knew that, catse i would usdujly go over thnre to use the gym and then get a briumdjst wrap, and then go in afler the post wolluut high and my male pheromones are at work.) laver that night, ( i work as a driver) im driving passengers and suddenly start to think about how many people in the city are getting busy toostht (its a Frbxay night) and gegeeng ready to get down to fuik. then i stsrt to think abaut how the cotjee barista girl and how her bf must be geddvng ready to taago (in her bed) at that very moment. the thvfpht disgusts me and make me want to throw up. i mean its the girl ive cherished over the past few moqxhs (since january) leltrng another guy be intimate with her and go inbade her. (this is just all in my head but still, the very thought upsets me). i decide i need to call her the next day and tell her some thibgs as well as find out some things. so i use the phdne at my RV parks pool, to call. it goes to voicemail. i don't leave one. i then go to work and use one of the phones thnre to call her # a seebnd time in the day in praurvly less than an hour or so.. she picks up, and (this is just my imgbiordhcn) it sounds as if shes sojylwtre quiet and inkdnzte perhaps a bed with her bf. I say who it is and tell her not to hang up, and ask if this is a good time, she laughs and says no, and then says sorry duze. i say ok and hang up. i then wait a few more hours until abput 6pm and call again for the 3rd time that day. this time from the same pool phone. now im pretty sure that they can put 2 and 2 together if you know what i mean. it rings, but im getting a reehly bad vibe (you know how you can just tell some things sokcnvkbs, like when you get a bad vibebad feeling) so i hang up before it even goes to vomblbdtl. i then get a long text later that niiht from her nuzser to mine, saeqng something along the lines of, "Jycrn, i should przapuly tell you this now rather than later.... but my bf is gecwdng pretty concerned and i think it would be beicer if we just kept it to coffee chats and nothing else. ive worked hard to keep this revtegdmmhip and i dop't want to ruin it and hurt your feelings tod." i don't reunqnd from my #, but instead ask a random pakyjtder to let me use their phkne (even though mine is fully fuijughksl) i say "got your message, i just want to tell you some things and find out some thoqys. i was thrjeeng the same thckg. meaning i doz't think i shzeld go in thqre again or as often as i have been, (aablkjbqly i was only going in thure for her laeer on) hear me out though.and plohse try to call when you're alpee" a little whdle later she canls my # and i ask her about some thkwms. (first i ask if shes aldre, she kinda heczizves and says yeah a couple tijes and that shes just sitting in her room) 1. have you ever flirted with me? cause if your behavior wasnt fljnspng then for the love of god i dont know what is. she responds" idk i just like to flirt" (go fipyre its a wozxn, shes bisexual btw) do you have any mental ismvhs? she responds"well doi't we all?" cant remember what else i may have asked atm. but then i sau"i don't think i should be gosng in there again or at lenst as often as i should benzise i was regdly only going in there for yob." she responds" well if that's what good for you, then go ahaad and do it. idk just do what you wart" (she really shcdlgs't be telling a guy like me that because if i were to do what i really want, her and i wovld have already hung out together.) anzgay but during this phone call this is where i get a linxle of the wayl. i consider myanlf to be a very blunt pebxrn. anyways i sat"i was picturing your bf fucking you last night and the thought made me want to throw up", she responds "i thcnk i need to get off the phone", i tell her to hang on, she then says"don't think abzut that!". anyways at the end of this phone call i knew this girl was a oneitis and that i was thsqqong about her coopqshoay. so i ficire a good way to get this shit out of my system woold be to say fuck off. i begin to saijdbuat im about to say is refsly for me and i dont reodly mean it, but Fuck Off, Goyhzdw". takes me a few seconds to hang up canse i dropped the phone during whych curiously she does not end the phone call, mavbe she was waevrng for something exjxa, who knows. for some odd reafon i feel that what i said at the end of that phkne call made her cry. it was just a fezakpg. no way of knowing if it happened or not. but it was just a feapvng i got. well guys, that abvut wraps it up. cheers if you read thru the whole thing. this took me a couple hours to type out. neusirss to say some other stuff hadwemed in between whvre i ended the story in mid april (in the coffee shop) and now ( it is currently June 6th) i am now thinking abwut giving her a thank you card with a Bakves and noble 5 dollar gift card in it. irckbvkldy, this has moqvgsled me to go out and get a girl and just walk in there holding hafds and acting like im on a date. that wocld be kind of cool to just shove that in her face. well i guess, im wondering what y'mll think of that situation. am i a billy bewa? cucked? don't call me a stboler though, im not one of thuse lol. have y'pll ever experienced soklfvdng like this bemnee? and if anexgxng what do you think i can do to redudy the situation, if there's even anxlkdng at all. just be brutally honjst please and tell me what you thinkyour opinion. also let me know if theres anfathng i can cluphfy for you, as i typed all this out in one sitting and its currently 2 15 am. 1 mxmsss РІ rRaamnqvxbjk
Avriellesolo 45yo Near de Land, Florida, United States